February 2009
Hey dick, give credit. →
“it’s like i used to snort glitter and smoke meth before chugging dicks at...”
– thatswhatimsaying
January 2009
True fact:
muppetpants:
Denver International might be my favorite airport. Free wifi, decent food, plenty of power outlets, and the women are very attractive. Almost don’t mind the two hour layover.
AND the recycling! It’s my favorite airport so far (next to Honolulu, because it’s fucking Hawaii, duh.)
“It was like living in a new house. I saw the undersides of tables, walked...”
– Augusten Burroughs — A Wolf at the Table
Ain’t it the truth?
After sex behaviour by sign
blogut:
lhh:
sedatedm:
Scorpio: Perhaps I should untie you…
Via
Leo: Wasn’t I fantastic?
Yeah, wasn’t I fantastic?
Virgo: I need to wash the sheets.
True Story.
Just bought 2 books from Borders using my rewards...
That’s ok, right?
“Oh, I’m not falling and breaking my butt. It already has a hole in it.”
– My mom, on the phone to me, just now, talking about not going out in the ice.
Sometimes when you Win, you Lose.
“I found you in hell. Don’t you think I could find you in Jersey!”
– Robin Williams in What Dreams May Come
“That’s when I realized I’m part of the problem. Not because I remind...”
– Robin Williams in What Dreams May Come
Some say it's an awful movie but I always cry...
“I’m glad my bodily harm has brought humor to your Saturday morning, asshole. ”
– Champagne for My Real Friends
yup. just like college. ~sigh~
so i can't really talk about it,
preduke:
but last night was potentially my worst night ever and i don’t have anyone to talk to about it. i’m hoping this helps a little.
badly aimed donkey punching?
i have a bruise on the middle of my spine ... have...
elizabethanne:
notthatkindagay:
(via elizabethanne)
badly aimed donkey punch?
that comment reminded me of our hungover brunches in the dining hall piecing together last night’s activities. And no, I definitely know it isn’t from that or any sexual encounter.
awww. now i’m nostalgic and miss you x1,000,000.
also, i want some hash browns.
i have a bruise on the middle of my spine ... have...
(via elizabethanne)
badly aimed donkey punch?
saturdayyyyyy
justinjustin:
today i shall: 1. watch movies until my eyes hurt 2. eat whatever i want 3. not leave the house 4. not shower until i absolutely have to (it’s gross, but true)
i think you and i could be bff 4 lyfe.
“I want to get a tattoo on my penis that says my other dick is black”
– Nick Swardson (via three50eight)
the human torch was denied a bank loan.
“Apparently there’s some *law* against teaching the evolutionary theory...”
– Mr. Lazenbee (?) — Family Guy
RNC Race is down to 2!
Katon Dawson and Michael Steele.
6th Ballot coming up.
718-971-5245
peterwknox:
david:webmarc:
Srsly. Call it. Right Now.
HAhahah. 111111111111111111. 234. 5. 69.
IT’S ALIVE!!!!!
Chipotle Employee Just Gave Guy In Front Of You... →
Since noticing the rice disparity moments ago, you have considered a number of tactics to rectify the situation, including hesitating slightly before advancing to the beans and meat in order to convey your concern; staring intently at the other burrito in hopes of drawing attention to its incongruent size; and simply asking the Chipotle employee for a little more rice.
Five made up facts about babies
ackb:
• Babies cheat at poker
• Babies have polarity, not unlike magnets, and will repel unprocessed iron ore
• Because babies aren’t allowed to be employed, filmmakers must substitute robots for babies in all filmed media.
• Babies molt every seventh Tuesday.
• Babies should not tick. If your baby is ticking, please take it to your nearest police station immediately so it may be defused.
...